Agreeing and disagreeing

In talking about almost anything, and especially when discussing certain topics, such as religion, sports, the economy, or politics, you hear many opinions expressed. You will probably agree with some and disagree with others. This section describes appropriate ways of doing this in English.

Listen to the dialogues, paying careful attention to the opinions that are expressed, and the way people agree and disagree with those opinions.

Ned         : You know, I think this country’s problems all come from inflation. That’s the main cause of our troubles right now. And what’s causing the inflation? It’s the reckless spending of the Democrats! Every year, they spend more and more money, and that money has to come from someone where. So we pay it in the form of higher taxes and higher prices on the goods we buy.

Chuck      : Well, I’m not sure that I agree with you. It seems to me that inflation is only one of our problems. What about unemployment? If people don’t have jobs because the government cuts spending too much, they can’t buy things; and then you have a vicious circle of more unemployment and fewer taxpayers to share the burden.

Ellen        :You know, I think Chuck may have something there. Unemployment is a big problem, especially in a mess, but I don’t think the answer is in government regulation or protection. I believe in the free market system – let the system work without a lot of government interference and everything will be OK.

Ellen        : So the strong will win, and the weak will defeated. Is that you mean?

Ned         : Well, that’s the way it goes. The survival of the fittest.

Chuck      : And too bad about the weak, the poor, the unprotected…

Ned         : Now you’re getting emotional. You have to remain objective about these things. Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about…

Agreeing with someone

It is easy to agree with someone, on any level of formality: “I agree completely with what you said in your lecture” or “Yeah, that’s right, Dave.” The only way to get into trouble is by being insincere and only pretending to agree. A person who always aggress with someone else never has an individual opinion is not respected. This is especially true in employer–employee relationships. If the employee always agrees with the boss, the employee is called a “Yes-man.” It is OK to disagree with superiors, as long as it is done in an acceptable way.

Disagreeing with someone

There two ways to disagree with someone: directly and indirectly.

Direct

Marry     : The show finishes at ten o’clock.

Tom       : No, it doesn’t. They told me eleven.

When you disagree directly you should be sure of your facts, because being wrong will require an apology. Notice the appeal to “higher authority” (“They told me...”).

Indirect

Marry     : The show finishes at ten o’clock.

Tom       : Oh, really? That’s strange. They told me it would be around eleven.

The first chuck express surprise (“Oh, really?”), then doubt (“That’s strange”), then gives the facts. As long as it is factual information that is in dispute, either form of disagreeing is acceptable, although indirect disagreement often sounds more polite.

If you are questioning someone’s opinion of judgment, it is better to use indirect techniques, such as:

1.        Turning a statement into a question: “Are you sure…?”

2.        Agreeing with part of the other person’s idea: “I agree that X, but Y…”

3.        Using introductory remarks: “I could be wrong, but…”

The phrases near the top of the list are generally more formal than the ones near the bottom. Starred (*) phrases are very strong and often impolite.

COMPLETE AGREEMENT I agree completely.. That’s just what I think, of course. In my opinion, you are correct. I couldn’t agree more. Sure.	TENTATIVE AGREEMENT I suppose you’re right. Well, maybe…
INDIRECT DISAGREEMENT I’m not sure I can agree. I wonder if there’s a mistake. In my opinion,… Are you absolutely sure? That really surprises me. I may be wrong, but… But I thought… Really? Oh, I don’t know. Yes, but…	DIRECT DISAGREEMENT I’m sorry, but I have to disagree. I couldn’t agree less I couldn’t disagree more. I refuse to believe that…* No, that’s wrong.* Nope.* No way!* Uh-uh!*